CONFUSION
Prologue
My inspiration for writing this twitterive is to help me figure out what I want to do with my life. I have been struggling with this decision for almost four months, and its literally eating away at me. I will graduate Spring 2012; it’s right around the corner. In my eyes, it wouldn’t be worth it to change my major now. I plan on graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education/Writing Arts. However, After graduation I am unsure about what to do.
I'm nervous about what my future holds because right now I'm really unsure if teaching will be right for me. I sit in class and I always wonder if this career will keep be happy. I often think that I will become bored with teaching. Maybe I've just been in the classroom too long and I've forgotten about how it makes me feel to be the teacher in a classroom and not a student. I think I would like nursing too, but I know the schooling is hard and I don't know if I would like dealing with sick people all of the time. Oh, the decisions that I have to make.
My place isn’t physical; it’s a state of mind. Within my head, I am struggling to decide what my career choice will be. Inside of my head, there are a whole lot of ideas. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about the confusion that I am struggling with. I need to make a decision about my life in order to put myself at ease. If only it was that easy.
My theme is exploring different options that I have. It’s me going back and forth with myself about what I really want to do.
My repetend is the mentioning of the words teacher and nurse. It’s back and forth motion that I have involving these two words. I want my reader(s) to be right there with me wondering what I should do. These two words will bring them here.
I'm nervous about what my future holds because right now I'm really unsure if teaching will be right for me. I sit in class and I always wonder if this career will keep be happy. I often think that I will become bored with teaching. Maybe I've just been in the classroom too long and I've forgotten about how it makes me feel to be the teacher in a classroom and not a student. I think I would like nursing too, but I know the schooling is hard and I don't know if I would like dealing with sick people all of the time. Oh, the decisions that I have to make.
My place isn’t physical; it’s a state of mind. Within my head, I am struggling to decide what my career choice will be. Inside of my head, there are a whole lot of ideas. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about the confusion that I am struggling with. I need to make a decision about my life in order to put myself at ease. If only it was that easy.
My theme is exploring different options that I have. It’s me going back and forth with myself about what I really want to do.
My repetend is the mentioning of the words teacher and nurse. It’s back and forth motion that I have involving these two words. I want my reader(s) to be right there with me wondering what I should do. These two words will bring them here.
Tweets
Life is confusing #twitterive
I already need a break from school #twitterive
These teacher work samples are ridiculous #twitterive
This semester is going to kill me #twitterive
No motivation to do homework ugh #twitterive
Bathing suits are out..this makes me want to lay on a beach #twitterive
So ready for a vacation! #twitterive
I guess I'm taking 3 summer classes now. #twitterive
Doing hw for the rest of the night :( #twitterive
Today is going to be the longest day ever #twitterive
I already need a break from school #twitterive
These teacher work samples are ridiculous #twitterive
This semester is going to kill me #twitterive
No motivation to do homework ugh #twitterive
Bathing suits are out..this makes me want to lay on a beach #twitterive
So ready for a vacation! #twitterive
I guess I'm taking 3 summer classes now. #twitterive
Doing hw for the rest of the night :( #twitterive
Today is going to be the longest day ever #twitterive
Once Upon A Time there was a little girl named Jen. She loved to pretend that she was a nurse. She would give her pretend patients check-ups all the time. As she got older, she decided that she would be a nurse, for real. For years and years that’s what she had her mind set on. One day, when she was in high school someone told Jen that nurses had to practice giving shot to other nurses. “There is no way anyone inexperienced is giving me any shots.” Jen’s dream of becoming a nurse quickly faded. She was confused about what she should do now. Years later, she decided that teaching would suit her just fine, or so she thought…
It was a Saturday night, and I was over my boyfriend’s house. We were sitting at the kitchen table with his cousins and sisters. We were all laughing and having a good time. Then, his sister pulled out a letter that a five ear old had written her, and asked everyone what they thought it said. The letter was a mess! It was written by a five year old so you can’t blame the child, but this was when I really freaked out. I didn’t want to decipher things like this for the rest of my life.
“Good night and thank you for the present I love the hat Love Abigail”
Well once I had that thought in my mind, I started second guessing everything. I didn’t want to be a teacher. I’ve had this thought at the back of my mind for a while now, but I never told anyone. When I saw this letter, I started questioning everything.
The next day, I broke down. The tears came, and I couldn’t stop. “I think I choose the wrong profession. I don’t think I want to be a teacher for the rest of my life.” I’m three semesters away from graduating. This was a heart breaking fact for me. I decided that I would finish and get my Bachelor’s. I’m so close to the end, I might as well finish. Now what do I want to do with me life?
“Good night and thank you for the present I love the hat Love Abigail”
Well once I had that thought in my mind, I started second guessing everything. I didn’t want to be a teacher. I’ve had this thought at the back of my mind for a while now, but I never told anyone. When I saw this letter, I started questioning everything.
The next day, I broke down. The tears came, and I couldn’t stop. “I think I choose the wrong profession. I don’t think I want to be a teacher for the rest of my life.” I’m three semesters away from graduating. This was a heart breaking fact for me. I decided that I would finish and get my Bachelor’s. I’m so close to the end, I might as well finish. Now what do I want to do with me life?
"Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age." - Albert Einstein
After realizing I didn’t want to be a teacher, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. For days, I cried and worried about what my career would be. I was so confused. Then it hit me; I should be a nurse. I’ve always wanted to be a nurse. I started looking into programs and found one, in particular, that I liked.
Dear Jen,
I can’t believe that you’re changing your mind about teaching this far into the game! What, are you nuts? You’ve worked so hard to get to this point and you might not even be a teacher. Jen, you are graduating next year! It’ll finally be over, but no you want to go back to school. I understand that you have to do what you love and I would never tell you otherwise. I find it a little funny, though. Throughout your entire childhood you said you were going to be nurse, but you gave that idea up right before you were about to start college. Your life would be so different now if you had gone to nursing school like you said all along. I respect your need to be happy. I just think you should give teaching a chance before you start a nursing program again. Who knows, you might end up enjoying teaching. All I have to say is good luck because you’re really going to need it.
Yours Truly,
Jen
I can’t believe that you’re changing your mind about teaching this far into the game! What, are you nuts? You’ve worked so hard to get to this point and you might not even be a teacher. Jen, you are graduating next year! It’ll finally be over, but no you want to go back to school. I understand that you have to do what you love and I would never tell you otherwise. I find it a little funny, though. Throughout your entire childhood you said you were going to be nurse, but you gave that idea up right before you were about to start college. Your life would be so different now if you had gone to nursing school like you said all along. I respect your need to be happy. I just think you should give teaching a chance before you start a nursing program again. Who knows, you might end up enjoying teaching. All I have to say is good luck because you’re really going to need it.
Yours Truly,
Jen
Teacher
Loves children Summers off Could be a good teacher VS. Achievement Watching students grow as learners Holidays off |
Nurse
Meet new people Help save a life Flexible Schedule Never know what to expect Empathy Not a “9-5 job” Many specialties to choose from |
NURSE-JEN VS. TEACHER-JEN
Teacher-Jen: I think I’m going to go back to school after I graduate. I think I’m going to become a nurse.
Nurse-Jen: Nurses are amazing!
Teacher-Jen: Yes, but teachers are pretty cool too.
Nurse-Jen: Teachers do the same thing every day.
Teacher-Jen: Yes, but teachers can change a child’s life.
Nurse-Jen: A nurse can save a person’s life.
Teacher-Jen: I’ll have summers off.
Nurse-Jen: Big deal- nurses get a lot more vacation days than teachers.
Teacher-Jen: I enjoy working with children.
Nurse-Jen: So become a Pediatric nurse.
Teacher-Jen: I wouldn’t get to wear work clothes. I would have to wear scrubs.
Nurse-Jen: Scrubs are so comfortable and they make a lot of different types now.
Teacher-Jen: I don’t know if I would really want to work under doctors.
Nurse-Jen: And principals are so much better?
Teacher-Jen: Good point, but do I really want to go back to school? I mean, I’ll be graduating when I’m 25.
Nurse-Jen: 25 isn’t even that old. It’s your entire life you’re talking about. Have you made up your mind?
Teacher-Jen: NO.
Teacher-Jen: I think I’m going to go back to school after I graduate. I think I’m going to become a nurse.
Nurse-Jen: Nurses are amazing!
Teacher-Jen: Yes, but teachers are pretty cool too.
Nurse-Jen: Teachers do the same thing every day.
Teacher-Jen: Yes, but teachers can change a child’s life.
Nurse-Jen: A nurse can save a person’s life.
Teacher-Jen: I’ll have summers off.
Nurse-Jen: Big deal- nurses get a lot more vacation days than teachers.
Teacher-Jen: I enjoy working with children.
Nurse-Jen: So become a Pediatric nurse.
Teacher-Jen: I wouldn’t get to wear work clothes. I would have to wear scrubs.
Nurse-Jen: Scrubs are so comfortable and they make a lot of different types now.
Teacher-Jen: I don’t know if I would really want to work under doctors.
Nurse-Jen: And principals are so much better?
Teacher-Jen: Good point, but do I really want to go back to school? I mean, I’ll be graduating when I’m 25.
Nurse-Jen: 25 isn’t even that old. It’s your entire life you’re talking about. Have you made up your mind?
Teacher-Jen: NO.
Spring 2012- Education Class Descriptions
Differentiated Instruction: This class you show you that almost every child in your classroom will have some type of disability. DI will show you how to pick out these students and tell you that each child will need different types of help during a lesson. However, this class will not prepare you to handle these students. We will talk about these types of students in depth, but we will not discuss different things that will help these students with learning. It will only make you nervous about having a classroom of your own.
Curriculum and Assessment: Teacher Work Samples #1-4 will be used this semester. None of these Elements will apply to your actual teaching career. Curriculum and Assessment will teach you how to form a lesson plan that you will never use again in your life. This class is basically filled with busy-work because everything that the students will learn is not used in an actual school setting. Be prepared to do a lot of writing, and know that these lesson plan formats will not actually help you when you’re a teacher.
Over It
This semester is going to kill me,
Doing homework,
No motivation,
Teacher work samples are ridiculous.
Three summer classes,
No break,
No vacation,
I give up.
This semester is going to kill me,
Doing homework,
No motivation,
Teacher work samples are ridiculous.
Three summer classes,
No break,
No vacation,
I give up.
Today is going to be the longest day ever. My alarm goes off, I have to shower and get ready. It’s time to eat breakfast: toast and banana (like every day). I’m going to get in my car, drive to school, sit in class, drive home, do homework, go to sleep, and repeat. What would I do if I could play hooky from my own life? Today, I’m going to find out. I get in my car and think. The beach. This is where I’m going to go. I head towards the expressway with the music on loud. I’m listening to 92.5 XTU as I approach the freeway entrance. Today is already better than planned. When I arrive at the beach, I hear the sound of seagulls, and I walk closer to the sand I can hear the waves. Maybe I’ll go in the water today, but maybe I won’t. I’m going to enjoy the hot sun on my face as I let the thought of school burry itself in the back of my mind. As I get hungry, I decide that pizza will be on today’s menu; followed by fudge or ice cream. Maybe I’ll make this an everyday kind of thing. Then, I look around. This isn’t my life. It’s simply just a day of bliss. Tomorrow, I’ll be back in school.
Is teaching the right career for me?
Should I stick with teaching?
Maybe there is something else I could do with my teaching degree?
Should I try nursing?
What if I don’t actually like nursing?
When will I figure my life out?
Is teaching the right career for me?
Will I be bored doing the same thing every day?
I love kids, but will I be able to teach them?
You want to escape the confusion
That you see before you.
I tell you, you will never be able
To escape the outer confusion
Unless and until
You have escaped the inner confusion.
And the inner confusion
Is your continuous doubt-indulgence.
~ Sri CHinmoy
Teaching!
I have dedcided that I am going to give teaching a try. I think I will enjoy teaching, and I'm hoping that I love it like I thought that I would. I think being in school for so long has started to take a toll on me, but I think I'll enjoy being a teacher. When I started doing observations again it brought me back to reality and it showed me that teaching will be right for me!
Afterword
Starting this twitterive was really hard for me. I know what my “place” is, but I am having trouble showing my “place” to readers. I think I might add some picture to my site showing nurses and teachers in action. I would like to write a poem about my confusion, as well. I believe that some quotes about teachers and nurses would also add something to my twitterive. I really want the reader to know how confused I actually am about this. After all my hard work, I'm very happy with the outcome of this project.